Saturday, February 13, 2010


That's me.  I've been doing a TERRIBLE job of this healthy thing and we're already into February!  I tell myself that each day is a new one to start over, and just don't give up completely.  It's hard not to beat myself up with the internal voice of "By now you could have lost XX pounds!" and to feel failure when I read about other bloggers' successes, but I can't be jealous if I'm not keeping to my resolve to be healthier!

Not as an excuse, but a realization of how I eat in times of stress, I had a really rough week last week and didn't track what I put in my mouth.  I just tried to keep sane & food was how I de-stressed myself.  Instead of trying exercise to relax, I found snacks (Oreos to be exact).  At least this time when I ate something not so healthy, I reminded myself that it doesn't mean I'm giving up completely and I could start over tomorrow.  I did almost give up when I checked one day and the scale read 238!  Up from my 234 average.  I cut back on the 'cheating' and tried to be more diligent & stopped eating those salty pretzels.  I did make some good choices during the week, like skipping the McD's when I was running errands with my son.  I really wanted to make excuses for stopping and eating fast food, but I didn't.  I find myself putting things down that before I wouldn't have given a second thought to eating.  Like the coffee cake from the vending machine at jury duty.  I ended up not having to wait as anticipated and gave it to my son instead when I got home.  I could've ate it in the car, but I didn't.  I have been eating breakfast every day and getting most of my calories in early, rather than in the past when I basically ate before going to bed - really late at night.  I also purchased a Better Homes and Gardens Cook Healthy Today cookbook that uses ingredients I normally buy or have on hand.  They're all easy and look delicious!  I have a weekly menu planned and will be shopping for the few things I need to complete my menu.  Most of my shopping has been in produce, which I know is good.  My better eating habits absolutely have me going around the edge of the store for food, and only a few things from in the middle.  This is VERY different from the heavy packaged foods in the past.  So now that I wrote all that out, I guess I have made some real changes.  Now if only I could find the exercise motivation to add to it.

I am a slug.  Seriously that's how I feel.  A picture of me is under couch potato in Wikipedia. Here's where I spew excuses....  I haven't found something I love to do yet that makes me keep going.  I tried Wii Your Shape and I don't love it because it has glitches that suck the fun out of it.  I don't have very much room in my 1-bedroom apartment between my son and I (& all his toys).  I work 50+ hours from home & I am a full time student online, which leaves barely enough time to feed and care for my child, let alone keep my house kind of tidy.  I'm not a morning person and no way I'm waking up even earlier to exercise, just won't happen & I'd kill myself trying to be coordinated that early!  It has to be when my son is asleep because he gets in the way (again space issues).  I'm also really sweaty when I work out, always have been even when skinny, and I HATE being sweaty.  It itches when I get sweaty & I have to shower immediately.  So it's not a 20 min workout, it's really at least 45 mins w/my shower.  Where can I find another 45 mins in my schedule???  At 1:00am?  A gym is pointless since in the winter I barely leave the house.  At this point anyway.  Money is also an issue with that as well. 

Ok, ok, now how to get past all those excuses!!!!  How to make room for my treadmill.  How to find a time that works for me.  Maybe working out with my son in the same room won't be as annoying as I imagine!  He does love yoga so maybe doing it together will help with some of the exercise during the week.  Maybe institute quiet time again where he watches a movie in the bedroom while I work out?  Then I can take a shower in peace too!  The space issue is a serious problem.  Not much I can do about that right now until I move out.  Maybe saving up for a Wii Fit might be the way to go?  I have to think of what it is that's blocking my exercise motivation and get rid of them.  I have to start exercising or this isn't going to work at all.