Lazy

That's me.  I've been doing a TERRIBLE job of this healthy thing and we're already into February!  I tell myself that each day is a new one to start over, and just don't give up completely.  It's hard not to beat myself up with the internal voice of "By now you could have lost XX pounds!" and to feel failure when I read about other bloggers' successes, but I can't be jealous if I'm not keeping to my resolve to be healthier!

Not as an excuse, but a realization of how I eat in times of stress, I had a really rough week last week and didn't track what I put in my mouth.  I just tried to keep sane & food was how I de-stressed myself.  Instead of trying exercise to relax, I found snacks (Oreos to be exact).  At least this time when I ate something not so healthy, I reminded myself that it doesn't mean I'm giving up completely and I could start over tomorrow.  I did almost give up when I checked one day and the scale read 238!  Up from my 234 average.  I cut back on the 'cheating' and tried to be more diligent & stopped eating those salty pretzels.  I did make some good choices during the week, like skipping the McD's when I was running errands with my son.  I really wanted to make excuses for stopping and eating fast food, but I didn't.  I find myself putting things down that before I wouldn't have given a second thought to eating.  Like the coffee cake from the vending machine at jury duty.  I ended up not having to wait as anticipated and gave it to my son instead when I got home.  I could've ate it in the car, but I didn't.  I have been eating breakfast every day and getting most of my calories in early, rather than in the past when I basically ate before going to bed - really late at night.  I also purchased a Better Homes and Gardens Cook Healthy Today cookbook that uses ingredients I normally buy or have on hand.  They're all easy and look delicious!  I have a weekly menu planned and will be shopping for the few things I need to complete my menu.  Most of my shopping has been in produce, which I know is good.  My better eating habits absolutely have me going around the edge of the store for food, and only a few things from in the middle.  This is VERY different from the heavy packaged foods in the past.  So now that I wrote all that out, I guess I have made some real changes.  Now if only I could find the exercise motivation to add to it.

I am a slug.  Seriously that's how I feel.  A picture of me is under couch potato in Wikipedia. Here's where I spew excuses....  I haven't found something I love to do yet that makes me keep going.  I tried Wii Your Shape and I don't love it because it has glitches that suck the fun out of it.  I don't have very much room in my 1-bedroom apartment between my son and I (& all his toys).  I work 50+ hours from home & I am a full time student online, which leaves barely enough time to feed and care for my child, let alone keep my house kind of tidy.  I'm not a morning person and no way I'm waking up even earlier to exercise, just won't happen & I'd kill myself trying to be coordinated that early!  It has to be when my son is asleep because he gets in the way (again space issues).  I'm also really sweaty when I work out, always have been even when skinny, and I HATE being sweaty.  It itches when I get sweaty & I have to shower immediately.  So it's not a 20 min workout, it's really at least 45 mins w/my shower.  Where can I find another 45 mins in my schedule???  At 1:00am?  A gym is pointless since in the winter I barely leave the house.  At this point anyway.  Money is also an issue with that as well. 

Ok, ok, now how to get past all those excuses!!!!  How to make room for my treadmill.  How to find a time that works for me.  Maybe working out with my son in the same room won't be as annoying as I imagine!  He does love yoga so maybe doing it together will help with some of the exercise during the week.  Maybe institute quiet time again where he watches a movie in the bedroom while I work out?  Then I can take a shower in peace too!  The space issue is a serious problem.  Not much I can do about that right now until I move out.  Maybe saving up for a Wii Fit might be the way to go?  I have to think of what it is that's blocking my exercise motivation and get rid of them.  I have to start exercising or this isn't going to work at all.

Three Pounds

I GAINED 3 pounds! I wasn't careful enough about what I was eating when I got stressed out recently. I ate junk for two days and I made excuses every time I put something in my mouth that didn't belong there. A chip or two there, a cookie, a few chocolate pretzels, and three pounds hopped onto my body. Honestly, I saw that and wanted to give up. Even though I made positive changed things like making a salad as one of my meals, and adding fish to my diet, gaining felt like it canceled out the good stuff too. Then I thought about it and it's giving me more motivation to lose all this weight! Anger usually translates to motivation in my world and I am angry with myself today.

I also need to start drinking more water. I HATE water! Those diet water flavors gross me out w/the diet sugar taste. Actually, I hate water that's not ice cold. I may have to invest in a filter, stock up on ice cubes, and/or keep a few water bottles in the icebox. Anything that makes it easier keeps me from making excuses or bad food choices.

I'm also going to put more effort into my workouts since I've been only half-hearted on that aspect. I need to just jump in and be committed and do everything all at once. No more easing into it bit by bit. THREE POUNDS!!!! *Sighs*

That Many Calories? Really?

I've been reading a lot of other bloggers who are on weight loss journeys in hopes I'll learn things that I'm currently clueless about.  One of those bloggers is JewliaGoulia who mentioned calorie intake causing a body go into starvation mode.  I would have never thought of this! So this is what the information says from the information I put in on the Women's Nutrition Guide

Your results for the Women's Nutrition Guide Calorie Calculator

These results will help you to know how many calories you need to maintain your current weight, and the number of calories needed per day to achieve your goal weight in a healthy, steady manner.

You need 2303.7 calories per day to maintain your current weight without exercise. (Oh heck no!)
You need 1920.8 calories per day to reach your goal weight slowly and maintain that weight without exercise.
If you reduce your current caloric intake to 1803.7 calories per day you will lose one pound per week without exercise.
If you increase your current caloric intake to 2803.7 calories per day, you will gain one pound per week.

Exercise and Calorie Needs
If you exercise for 30 minutes each day, you may increase your caloric intake to 2567.5 calories per day and still maintain your current weight.

If you exercise for 60 minutes each day, you may increase your caloric intake to 2897.3 calories per day to maintain your current weight.
If you exercise for 30 minutes each day, you will be able to reach your goal weight with 2138.6 calories per day.
If you exercise for 60 minutes each day, you will be able to reach your goal weight with 2411 calories per day.

Macronutrients
The United States Department of Agriculture suggests that approximately 50 percent of your calories come from carbohydrates, about 30 percent from fats, and approximately 20 percent from protein sources. One gram of protein has about four calories, one gram of fat has about nine calories, and one gram of carbohydrate has about four calories.

You need 288 grams of carbohydrates, 76 grams of fat, and 115.2 grams of protein per day for 2303.7 calories to maintain your weight of 235 pounds.
You need 240.1 grams of carbohydrates, 63.4 grams of fat, and 96 grams of protein per day for 1920.8 calories to maintain your goal weight of 145 pounds.

(I prefer a diet closer to what diabetics use. Carbs love sticking with me & I have a family history of diabetes.)

This is SO interesting to me and makes total sense when put like that.  I would've absolutely gone into starvation mode and given up completely when my body didn't melt off the pounds. Now I have a better foundation when I look at all the numbers on nutritional labels! 

Day 1 The Continuation

Weigh in at 8:30am to assess the damage as we begin twenty-ten: 235 *sighs*  Up 3 pounds from 2 days ago.

That's what I get for gorging on garbage foods the past few days before New Years. I feel so gross right now and my kid can have whatever left overs are in there. Blech.  The problem will be the chips & crackers and moderation.  Already I want to say I'll start tomorrow so I can eat crap today! Oh willpower where are you?

Getting fit wasn't a New Years resolution since I've been trying for a while, but I knew the holidays would be pointless.  I cannot be early in the weight loss process and have big holidays with food I love and pies to cook.  So I still kept some of my  smaller portions, eat a healthy breakfast, etc.  Today is the first time I've seen a gain of anything.  I guess that means it's the right time to jump back on the wagon!

Here I go!