My body hurts in all kinds of places. I know some of it is from the extra weight I'm carrying around on my body. My hips hurt mostly. That's partly because of this God awful couch I bought online that is like lounging on a rock. If I were a lizard sunning myself it would be great. I'm not. I'm sure the 80 or so pounds I need to lose aren't helping when all the pressure is placed on my hip when I 'relax' on my couch. I really just need to sell it and get a new one. My knees hurt too. Usually when I'm down on the floor playing with my son and I have to get up. Things usually pop and crack when I get up. That can't be good for me. I had knee problems as a teenager and I really would like to avoid them now. My feet hurt if I stand for too long. They hurt if I walk at the zoo all day with my son. They don't fit in my cute shoes right. I hate it. I thought my cute shoes were the one thing I would always have. I mean, the whole knee-high boot thing is a nightmare for me anyway. I come from thick-calved genetics and even on my thinnest days they don't fit me.
I think the worst pain is the pain of not being happy with how I look right now. Every day I wonder how the hell I got here. Okay, I know how - stress, baby, divorce, unemployment, homelessness, etc, etc. Now how do I get out of it? Where do I find my motivation when I feel defeated before I start? I know all the things I need to do to make it happen. I know and I just don't know where to find my motivation. I know if I started exercising regularly the pounds would start dropping off and that would be motivation enough. Now if only I didn't get itchy after I start sweating that might help too. Who wants to sweat and then itch?! Like working out isn't pain enough. I guess I'll have to figure it all out. Soon.
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