Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Aches and Pains

My body hurts in all kinds of places.  I know some of it is from the extra weight I'm carrying around on my body.  My hips hurt mostly.  That's partly because of this God awful couch I bought online that is like lounging on a rock.  If I were a lizard sunning myself it would be great. I'm not.  I'm sure the 80 or so pounds I need to lose aren't helping when all the pressure is placed on my hip when I 'relax' on my couch.  I really just need to sell it and get a new one.  My knees hurt too.  Usually when I'm down on the floor playing with my son and I have to get up.  Things usually pop and crack when I get up.  That can't be good for me.  I had knee problems as a teenager and I really would like to avoid them now.  My feet hurt if I stand for too long.  They hurt if I walk at the zoo all day with my son.  They don't fit in my cute shoes right.  I hate it.  I thought my cute shoes were the one thing I would always have.  I mean, the whole knee-high boot thing is a nightmare for me anyway.  I come from thick-calved genetics and even on my thinnest days they don't fit me.

I think the worst pain is the pain of not being happy with how I look right now.  Every day I wonder how the hell I got here.  Okay, I know how - stress, baby, divorce, unemployment, homelessness, etc, etc.  Now how do I get out of it?  Where do I find my motivation when I feel defeated before I start?  I know all the things I need to do to make it happen.  I know and I just don't know where to find my motivation.  I know if I started exercising regularly the pounds would start dropping off and that would be motivation enough.  Now if only I didn't get itchy after I start sweating that might help too.  Who wants to sweat and then itch?!  Like working out isn't pain enough.  I guess I'll have to figure it all out.  Soon.

No comments:

Post a Comment